Homoeroticism, 80s love-ins and Columbine-wannabes. Just another dull week of new releases.
Fuck Buttons: Street Horrrsing – Album Of The Week
Back in December, having slept for around two hours over the course of three days, we gathered around a poxy table in a dimly lit arcade wearing purple ear muffs over our faces while watching out-of-it couples punch the air as Fuck Buttons raped our minds with the kind of sounds that whirrrr around the heads of psychopathic zookeepers who have recurring thoughts about buggering the animals.
It was beautiful.
For fans of: Monging out, Lars von Trier, Sega Mega Drives.
Be Your Own Pet: Get Awkward
Back in Year 8 I threw some Blu-tack that stuck in Jessica’s hair and it became so entangled that she had to drastically alter her style.
I regretted it instantly, and was made to feel bad every day for an entire term as Jess’ ridiculous bob stood out as a symbol for my naughtiness. ADD-punks Be Your Own Pet take things a step further – they knife ex-best friends and write songs about it. And don’t regret a thing.
For fans of: Food fights.
Mystery Jets: Twenty One
The 80s get such an horrific press that you’d think that for ten years all’s that released was the Complete Works of Farting by The Shits.
The Smiths, Prince, The Stone Roses, Kate Bush, The Cure, Talking Heads, REM, Public Enemy, The Pixies, Talk Talk, I could go on… all released monsters in the 80s.
And Thatcher kids The Mystery Jets clearly recognise there’s fun to be had trading in the best bits of all of the above and even some of the shite to come up with one of the sprightliest records we’ve heard in ages and had it not been for the indie-by-numbers chaff which bloats 21 this would have been album of the week hands down.
As it is, the Laura Marling-assisted Young Love and contender for single of the year Two Doors Down contain enough electricity to light up a really big light thing that needs loads of electricity.
For fans of: Tron, Ferris Bueller, Duran Duran.
Hercules & The Love Affair: Hercules & The Love Affair
Two months and counting, and Hercules is yet to utterly convince of it’s brilliance. The hipster’s record of choice for 08, is so unlike anything currently on rotation that it’d be easy to salute mainman Andrew Butler for his singular vision which has more in common with early 80s dance than anything down Le Bateau on a Saturday night.
The brass funk of Blind, Antony Hegarty‘s mournful timbre throughout and the homoerotic opener Time Will are all borderline genius, but if there’s one crucial element in short supply it’s that rush so very necessary in great dance records.
I’ll give it another 37 spins just to make sure, but don’t believe the hype.
For fans of: Chicago house, Donna Summer, strap-ons
Young Knives: Superabundance
I really want to like Young Knives. They write snappy songs (Turn Tail is amazing), give great copy and stand apart from every single shite British guitar band currently risking infertility with their choice of pantaloons.
But alas, all I’m getting is Franz Ferdinand in tweed shouting ‘HOT SUMMER, HOT, HOT SUMMER.’ Sorry lads, tried me best.
For fans of: The last kid to be picked for the football team.