Robyn is the new Motty

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The Swedish pop sensation turns footie commentator on Twitter. No really.


It’s fair to say that Twitter, in the main, is rubbish.
But sometimes it throws up a few diamonds. Like a pissed Diplo slagging off the Grammys. Or Lily Allen dicking on the New York Times calling them ‘cheap skanks.’
Makes a change from my mate telling me he’s in the gym listening to the Flaming Lips… Cheers.
Last night’s classic insight arrived from the most unlikely source, as chart-topping Scando pop ninja Robyn let fly with several lunging updates from the Champions League clash between Manchester United and Inter Milan.
Clearly a big fan of Jose’s boys – and in particular lazy drainpipe Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the cheeky blonde rattled off insult after insult aimed at Fergie’s charges.
At 1-0 down, our Rob (to her mates) tweeted: ‘Vidic is cool, but not when Zlatan is trying to scooore. YÂŜknow?!.’
Quickly followed by ‘Ronaldo is not sexy.’ You don’t get that from Jeff Stelling.
Proceedings went particularly Alan Green as Manure’s shy and retiring forward Ronaldo scored their second.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! 2-0 to Man united!!! Ronaldo is a wanker,’ lamented our Rob.
The diatribe continued: ‘Zlatan Ibrahimovic has a swagger. Ronaldo just wants to show off.
Have that Big Ron.
And just when you thought the With Every Heart Beat warbler had finished, she went all David Pleat eulogising, ‘I love how the audience sits so close to the field in old Trafford… Big up to Rooney.
Style tips were also forthcoming: em>Anderson needs to get his hair braided.‘
But come final whistle, Rob did concede the best side had won before offering her comprehensive assessment on the evenings action:
Inter did not deserve to win tonight. Ronaldo is still a wanker though.’
Can’t say fairer than that.
Coming soon Murph from The Wombats presents live updates of the Grand National and Lionel Richie pulls up a pew to guide us through the Australian Grand Prix.

Robyn: Konichiwa Bitches

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