It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Because you get a bit of time off work, and you could get out of the house for a while, on Getintothis‘ David Hall‘s say so.
It’s the big Getintothis Christmas and New Year gig and events guide! So cue plenty of asking: what could be more Christmassy than… would it be Christmas without… and so on.
Christmas tune lyric puns? Yeah, got them all set out in envelopes here, mate. Want to hear one? No problemo…
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why: you’re a grown-arsed adult… we mean, it’s the Getintothis Christmas and New Year gig and events guide!
Soz, been on the Babycham since 8 am. Well, it is Christmas, after all.
Whatever your taste this Christmas, Liverpool has something to offer. All aboard!
Ya Nan’s Big Christmas Quiz: Camp and Furnace, Friday December 8
If there was anything more festive than a Scouse gran at Christmas, it would probably alter space and time like Santa has to, in order to deliver all those presents.
Get down to Camp and Furnace for a Christmas quiz like no other, followed by ya nan’s front room after party… she said you’re allowed a taste of the sherry, but don’t tell yer ma.
Christmas Baroque by Candlelight: St Georges Hall, Sunday December 10
Join one of Britain’s finest chamber ensembles for a classy night out in the neoclassical jewel in Liverpool’s crown St Georges Hall. Baroque chamber music by candlelight in a venue like this? It’s the stuff of Dickensian clichés come true.
The Sentence reading: The Florrie, Friday December 15
The Sentence by Alistair Fruish: 5 readers, 1 novel, 1 sentence, 1 syllable per word, 0 punctuation.
A series of readings directed by Daisy Eris Campbell stops off at The Florrie, where you can also take in Jimmy Cauty‘s ADP right now!
Home Alone Themed Christmas Bar: Cain’s Brewery, Until December 28
Ghetto Golf bring you the ultimate Christmas pop up bar, themed along the lines of that little shit and probable civil suit recipient Kevin McCallister. The Home Alone Themed Christmas Bar comes complete with entertainment provided by the Kenosha Kickers and DJ Rasp.
Party season is upon us, and we know you won’t need a lot of convincing to partake in a few snifters at clubnights across Merseyside.
Heavy Hitters Christmas Jumper & Free Fancy Dress Party: Hangar 34, Thursday December 7
Yeah, we don’t know what else you want us to say about this one. It does exactly what it says on the tin. From 11pm until 4am, with last entry at 1:30am, have all the fun of the latest transatlantic Christmas import (thanks for Black Friday, bros) you can stand!
Freeze presents 2manydjs: Underground Liverpool, Saturday December 9
Bringing the mixing skills that has made their mashup mixtapes so legendary, 2manydjs joins Freeze resident Greg Wilson at the former site of Garlands, Underground Liverpool.
The party gets going at 10 pm and DJ sets last until 5 am, but last entry is at midnight.
Onyx 1st Year Birthday Christmas Special: New Bird Street Warehouse, Saturday December 9
Bringing what will probably feel like the atmosphere of an illegal warehouse rave, Onyx lump in their 1st birthday celebrations with Christmas in what sounds like a marriage made in heaven.
Born Slippy 90s Christmas Party: Buyers Club, Tuesday December 12
What’s the first phrase that springs to mind when you hear the word ‘Christmas’? That’s right, “Drive boy dog boy, dirty numb angel boy, in the doorway boy, she was a lipstick boy…”. Nineties anthems from 11pm til 4am, last entry 12:15, what could be better?
Tainted Love Christmas Special: Camp and Furnace, Friday December 22
An ultimate 80s party with a free snowball thrust at you upon entry from 10pm til 3am? Jiminy fuckin’ Christmas, get us in there right now.
Circus Christmas Daytime Special: Camp and Furnace, Wednesday December 27
‘Tis the season for daytime drinking, and Circus duly oblige, as they return to Camp and Furnace for another Christmas Daytime party special the day after Boxing Day. With a day-off friendly start time of 2pm and a train home-friendly finish of 11pm, what excuse do you have?
The Late Wake Club – George Michael: Camp and Furnace, Saturday December 23
Following the inaugural Late Wake Club raising a glass and a ‘tache to Freddie Mercury, a festive (we suppose) version pays tribute to the late, great George Michael.
Liverpool Disco Festival Boxing Day Special: Buyers Club, Tuesday December 26
On Boxing Day, the Liverpool Disco Festival guys, girls and gender rebels welcome one of their favourite handpicked selectors DJ Red Greg for a special extended set alongside Disco Fest residents for a Boxing Day knees up.
Never mind Christmas for a moment – yeah, bah humbug and all that – it wouldn’t be Getintothis if we didn’t pick out some primo gigs for you now, would it?
Please find attached, best regards, kindest regards. Now the out of office reply’s going on…
Deaf School Christmas Show: Invisible Wind Factory, Saturday December 9
In their first gig since the Kazimier closing shows of 2015, the long-awaited return of some favourite scouse sons and daughters, Deaf School occurs at spiritual successor the Invisible Wind Factory. We couldn’t think of a better match.Kate Rusby: Liverpool Philharmonic, Saturday December 9
Because Christmas isn’t all brashness and baubles, join Kate Rusby as she plays material from her Christmassy new folk album, which should serve as a tonic to the chintziness of the season.From Inside Christmas Headline Show: Studio 2, Friday December 15
Literal heavy hitters Rosaline, Inhabit and Into The Fall join From Inside for an epic showcase of Merseyside’s best metal, hardcore and alternative music down Parr Street way just in time for Christmas.
Space: Arts Club, Friday December 22
Famous for hits like Neighbourhood, Avenging Angels and other 90s radio favorites, scouse exports Space present a Christmastime Arts Club homecoming show. Could be something special. More special than Christmas, even.
What is Christmas without a pantomime? Entirely fucking welcome if you ask us, but should you be panto inclined then here are some of the picks from around Liverpool this year. If you thought we were going to throw in some sort of “oh no there isn’t” joke there, you’re getting punched in the throat.
All are various dates, so check the venues for specifics.
The Everyman Rock N Roll Panto – The Little Mermaid: Everyman Theatre
If you’re after something a little different this year, look no further than the always fun Rock N Roll Panto! This year taking on leftfield panto choice The Little Mermaid. You’ll certainly know you’ve been to a show on the way out, you poor unfortunate souls.
Peter Pan: Epstein Theatre
The boy who never grew up flies – with the help of some wire work, we would imagine, either that or real life Christmas magic – onto the stage of the Epstein.
Beauty & The Beast: The Black E
Tale as old as time, song as old as victim blaming, hopefully Angela Lansbury’s misplaced comments in the last few weeks won’t cast too long a shadow over the Black Es production of Belle et al. doing their thing.
Aladdin: Echo Arena Auditorium
If the whole celebrities starring in pantos thing is more your… erm, thing… then the Echo Auditorium might be your bag. Leanne Campbell off of Radio City, Britain’s Got Talent stars Michael Auger and Ruby Murry (dunno mate) and Jimmy goddamn Corkhill himself Dean Sullivan tread the boards here.
An impressive lineup featuring legit Westenders Duncan James and Jodie Prenger ham it up in Cinderella at the Empire this December. Don’t stay out after midnight… or is it eat after midnight? No, that’s the other Christmas classic, Gremlins.
The Scouse Nativity: Royal Court
Royal Court Chief Exec and writer Kevin Fearon‘s annual slapstick production of silliness is back for another year, telling ‘the greatest story ever told’. As they put it themselves, O come ‘ed, all ye faithful!
Jack and the Beanstalk: Grand Central Hall
Fee, fi, fo, fum, we smell the grand confines of the underused Renshaw Street venue getting a festive pantomime to camp and up and show off. Well, what else is Christmas for?
If advertising is to be believed – and lets face it, Christmas these days is 99.9% advertising, and mostly in November – then there’s nothing more festive than curling up with a good movie this Christmas.
Well, we have something to say about that… it’s about terrible films. Let’s see now, what have we got on offer among Merseyside venues?
The Monday Movie Night – Elf: Jacaranda, Monday December 11
Firmly cementing itself as a modern Christmas classic, the likes of Will Ferrell, Zooey Deschanel and Jimmy Caan assemble for this gleefully silly tale of… well, if you’ve somehow managed to avoid seeing Elf up until now, then you’ll have to get down to the Jacaranda to find out.
Love Actually Live: Philharmonic Hall, Monday December 11
Expert heartstring tugger Richard Curtis’ ensemble piece Love Actually nails that part of history in the early 00s which were more 90s than the fucking 90s.
Well, courtesy of the Phil, you get all of that, with a live orchestra scoring along on stage. If this doesn’t sound like your cup of mulled wine, you get the same sketch but with Back to the Future in 2018. Great Scott!
The Monday Movie Club – The Nightmare Before Christmas: Jacaranda, Monday December 18
What’s this? What’s this? If you thought we were going to steer clear from such an obvious joke as that, then you obviously don’t know us very well at all.
If you’re more of a Halloween than a Christmas persuasion, then you’ll be thrilled to know that the Jac will be on hand to screen Tim Burton‘s goth classic this year.
Dovedale Big Screen presents Die Hard: Dovedale Towers, Tuesday December 19
Of course it’s a Christmas film! If you have any arguments about Die Hard being the most festive of seasonal movies, then ho ho ho, now I have a machine gun.
You can see Bruce Willis‘ finest hour – arguments in the lobby later – screened in full at Penny Lane digs Dovedale Towers in the run up to the big day this year.
It’s the big day finally, and 2017 can do one! Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the disaster that 2016 was, and nobody ended up dabbing. But still, new beginnings, and all that! This calls for a celebration…
Guilty Pleasures New Year’s Eve: Camp and Furnace, Sunday December 31
You’ve got to do SOMETHING on New Year’s Eve! Come on, you’ve got to come out! Well, what would get you out if not an evening of cheesy tunes enjoyed guilt free! Start 2018 as you mean to go on… with crap music played shamelessly loud!
303 – New Years Eve Party: Constellations, Sunday December 31
Quickly becoming and iconic Liverpool clubbing brand in its own right to rival the likes of Cream and ENRG, 303 books out Constellations to bring you a New Years’ party with London based Jason Robertson playing tunes until the young hours of 2018.
Fiesta Bombarda NYE Carnival: Invisible Wind Factory, Sunday December 31
Venture into three domains, Subterrania, Aquaria and Nocturnia in an evening of exploration and New Years’ celebration.
Beardyman headlines this party, alongside the returning New York Brass Band, Aba Shanti and local rabble rousers Galactic Funk Militia. Many more bands, DJs, performances and happenings are promised across the three uniquely designed landscapes, so Fiesta promises one hell of a blowout to welcome in 2018.
Home Of The Brave: Drop The Dumbulls, December 31
Strange happenings across the docklands in Drop the Dumbulls Gallery as Cartier 4 Everyone presents Home Of The Brave 2097 edition.
The New Years’ event features Drivers, Ukaea, Manchester’s Hesska with a DJ set, Vida Vojic from Berlin, M T Hall plus loads more including Golden Tony’s Midnight Half Time Show. It’s bound to be bonkers, and just a bit mint.